Operation Overload
by violafanatic
Summary: So Jack has this dilemma, you see...he broke up with his girlfriend (who he does not care much for anyway) because of her ties to (what is essentially) the local mafia, his deranged friends want to get him together again with said girl because they think the two of them are #otp, and he is trying to convince everyone, himself included, that he is not jealous. C'est la vie.
1. The Storm Before the Storm

_**The Storm Before the Storm**_

* * *

Jack has a problem, you see. He _was_ dating Elsa Arendelle for quite a while until he couldn't take the pressure anymore and finally broke up with her. But here's the thing: no one breaks up with Elsa Arendelle. So naturally Jack skipped town in fear of her father's reaction to the news. Jack would have remained in hiding if it were not for a chem test he had today that his grade couldn't afford for him to miss.

But in all honesty, Elsa was a great girl. Her family, however, not so much.

After finding out that her father hadn't sent his goons- _whom Jack is sure are wonderful people on the inside in case anyone's asking_ \- he cancelled his extended life insurance plan and gave his grandmother back her LifeAlert necklace. He could live to see Friday morning, but he knew the next ten minutes will destroy his life, his social life, that is.

Elsa wasn't a drama queen so to say, but she definitely was on the more protected spectrum. Her innocence and naivety were on unbelievable levels for the daughter of business mogul, Adgar Arendelle, or better known to the small town as Ice Godfather.

When anyone had a substantial debt, Ice Godfather got them. When there was any shady business going on around town, Ice Godfather handled it- _well his goons did_. When someone was breaking a law, Ice Godfather personally saw to it that they got to know the importance of rules in his 'disciplinary' ice chamber. A sort of vigilante, Ice Godfather protected the peace and security of the small town, which was why the town of Arendelle, _and every resident will readily tell you that the naming is merely a coincidence_ , is the safest place on Earth. So long as you got along with Ice Godfather. He asked for little in return, that is, aside from your undying loyalty to him and his family.

If he needed a kidney, you had two for a reason. If his wife needed a good cookie recipe, gosh by golly, you would quit your job to spend the next 5 years inventing a concoction so perfect that she'll nearly die from happiness. _But not quite, because if she left the world she won't be doing it alone._ And if his precious, _only_ daughter took interest in you, you take her out and give up your hopes and dreams to become a real-life Bruce Wayne with the respectfulness of Steve Rogers and the suavity of Tony Stark. _What could he say, Marvel were the standards of everybody._

Which brought him to his current predicament. Jack was nervously watching the door for a busty blonde to walk through with pretty tears rolling gracefully down her perfectly sculpted cheeks, a box of extra soft Puff tissues in her dainty, lithe hands, and a personal SWAT team surrounding her in a protective bubble. Why she adores Jack leaves him baffled to this day, because while he was undeniably popular, he doesn't remember doing anything significant enough to become the apple of her eye for the last 11 years. _Yes, they met in kindergarten, and anyone who was born in Arendelle virtually stays in Arendelle._

"You included me in your will and testament right?" spoke Jack's best friend, Aster "Bunny" Bunnymund, interrupting Jack from his thoughts. "I've tolerated you for 11 years and I'm pretty sure I deserve your iPod more than your sister does." Jack turned around in his seat to glare at the man whose burly body made Jack pity the small student desk he was currently crushing.

"Aster, be nice." chided Bunny's girlfriend, Thiana "Tooth" as she walked up to them and placed her hands on Bunny's shoulders. "Elsa wouldn't hurt a fly."

"Doesn't mean her dad won't." said Henry "Hiccup" Haddock, Jack's other childhood friend, without looking up from the math book he was reading at his desk. _What high schooler studies multivariable calculus for fun?_

"Ice Godfather has a time range. The fact that Jack has survived the one week mark without so much as a scratch was a sign that he has been spared." chimed in Anna, a distant relative of Elsa and member of the odd friend group. She cast Jack a sympathetic smile, understanding the tad bit obsessive qualities that ran through her family.

"Well, Jack _did_ run away like a wuss to Nebraska during that time." Merida mentioned casually as she sipped her beloved tomato juice, not caring about the offended look on Jack's face.

"Please, if he wanted to, Ice Godfather could have bound, gagged, and quartered Jack within the hour of finding out he broke up with Elsa with the snap of his fingers." Anna dismissed with a flick of her hand. Jack knew she said that to comfort him but the thought of his entrails anywhere but inside his body chilled Jack to the bone.

"I-I did not run away. My mom just needed me to check up on my sick aunt _Whateverhernameis_ " Jack mumbled the latter half under his breath. But his friends did not miss the embarrassed tint of his ears.

"Well, for whatever reason you left, it doesn't change the fact that Elsa is going to step in through the class door any moment now and someone is going to die." Bunny said as he brought a finger across his throat for emphasis.

"Come on guys, I'm not scared of a little spoiled Barbie." Jack puffed our his chest with false confidence.

"I must admit that I am sheltered but I can assure you that my hair, as well as the rest of my body, is _very_ real." said a pretty voice behind Jack.

 _Crud._


	2. The Eye of the Storm

**_The Eye of the Storm_**

* * *

Having never consumed a drop of alcohol in his life, and seeing as he lives in Arendelle that he probably never will, the headache Jack was currently experiencing was probably the closest he will ever get to a hangover. That's honestly the only way to describe the migraine that was currently making its way to his head. _Well you brought this upon yourself by opening that dang mouth of yours._

* * *

Horrified _would not even begin to describe the expression on Jack's face. Bunny later added, quite helpfully, that Jack looked like an albino_ The Scream _before his girlfriend hit him upside the head._

 _"I knew we broke up, but can't we be friends?" Elsa asked with a slight tilt of her dainty head and a playful pout on her lips._

 _It was at that moment when Jack was expected to respond that he so conveniently lost all control of his vocal abilities._ Great job, Jack. Showing your dominance like a man.

 _Jack was still shocked by the absence of puffy eyes, blotchy, red skin, and broken hiccups. She looked perfectly normal, better than normal even, with a slight undertone of annoyance. Seeing that he wasn't going to respond, a pretty frown formed on Elsa's face._ What can he say, she was undeniably pretty. Plus, her father had drilled it into he psyches of everyone in town that nobody dare tell her otherwise.

 _She was going to say something before she was cut off by a rather masculine voice to the side of her._

 _"So this is the uncouth youth that broke your heart." said a pale haired man. It was only then did Jack notice the rather muscular, and unfortunately, vaguely handsome man at her side. Jack would have loved to criticize the guy's appearance more but it's hard to observe while being blinded by the man's glowing skin. When Jack regained enough of his bearings, he noticed that the man's pale blonde hair was similar to Elsa's. But in Jack's opinion, it looked more like the fluff of a maltese butt in comparison to Elsa's freshly fallen snow locks._

 _"What's it to you?" Jack couldn't keep the bite out of his voice as he spoke._

 _"Oh? I didn't realize that I did anything to deserve your anger? I merely made an objective observation," the man's sickly sweet voice triggered Jack's gag reflexes._

 _"Hey, Ice Princess!" Bunny called from behind Jack, "Leave Ice Prick alone. He doesn't need to learn more big words outside of class." While Jack was grateful for Bunny he couldn't help but respond with a glare to the nickname. Elsa was also offended by the remark._

 _"Did you just call me Ice Princes-"_

 _"Not you, Arendelle. I was talking to your newest boy toy," Bunny spoke dismissively, causing Elsa and her 'friend'-_ Jack uses this term sparingly because this guy could just be one of her undercover security for all he knows _\- to join Jack at glaring at the muscled Bunny._

 _"You have the most peculiar people in Arendelle," Elsa's acquaintance - yeah, Jack likes that_ _better- said slowly, causing an involuntary eye role from Jack. Elsa missed this, however, as she perked up and focused all her attention on to the man whose arm was_ still _on her shoulder._

 _"I'm glad you think so Dylan."_ Dylan, so that's the bastard's name.

 _Elsa finished greeting the rest of the class who was willing to acknowledge her, which was practically everybody, before walking to her seat, with the Dipshi- Dylan trailing behind her like some lost puppy. Jack was about to turn around when he caught the subtlest of movements. Elsa rose on her toes to press a chaste peck on Dylan's cheek. It was so innocent that it bordered platonic. But that didn't stop Jack from involuntarily jumping up._

 _Luckily, Bunny had the quicker reflexes and before Jack could take another step, he was inconspicuously dragged out of the room before he could cause a scene. But of course no one would have noticed as all eyes were staring with shocked expressions at the newest 'it' couple._

* * *

"This is your own fault," Hiccup said, not looking up from his... _Hyperdimensional Physics_ book?

"Weren't you reading something else this morning-"

"I finished it," Hiccup cut off Jack, annoyed by Jack's avoidance. "Besides, the topic at hand is you and your inability to be decisive."

"Excuse me?" Jack huffed, indignant that the one kid who considered going to the library with friends to be a riot would have the nerve to question Jack's social skills.

"I'm with Hiccup on this one. This is your fault," Anna casually said as she joined the two at their lunch table.

"You wanted to get rid of her. Now you are free of her. Except now, like every predictable guy in history, you want her back because she proved to you that you were not the only fish in the sea. That she has just as many suitors as you do and she is not afraid to let go of _The_ Jackson Overland." Anna's comments hit home as Jack was slaughtered by the facts he didn't want to admit to. _So anyone with a drop of Arendelle blood is ruthless._ Jack stared warily at the smiling Anna, who was chatting away happily with Hiccup as if she had not just emulsified his ego a mere five seconds ago.

"Well, that's where you're wrong. Both of you." The two stopped their discussion to look at Jack as if he were a baby.

"I am not jealous," Jack whined, "I am just annoyed that they would go around showing so much public displays of affection."

"You certainly don't go around causing fits when Tooth and Bunny are sucking each others' faces- which is so often that I swear that they are some sort of humanoid leeches," Merida added as she approached the table with an assortment of tomato food products on her lunch tray.

"I can't do much about them, now can I?"

"You don't have a choice in Elsa's situation, either. Not anymore at least." Merida replied tauntingly.

Jack slumped in his seat upon hearing that. Some friends he has.

The conversation eventually digressed into Anna ranting about Merida's tomato obsession, but through it all, Jack couldn't help but let his wandering eyes follow Elsa's figure across the lunch hall as Dylan wrapped his arm around her possessively and she responded by giggling adoringly into his chest. But it wasn't Dylan who had captured his attention- admittedly, Jack would rather stab his eyes out with a spork than ever willingly stare at Dylan- as Elsa had began shooting her megawatt smiles. It had been a while since he has seen that expression on her face.

She was a gorgeous girl with a loving personality and the potential to become some world-famous model turned actress slash philanthropist. Probably because she was always smiling, until a few days ago. She was Jack's girlfriend until a few days ago, too.

But for the brief five months that they dated Jack has never felt more confined. Under strict security and surveillance, everything from the sweet, one-sided texts to the passionless kisses to the countless raincheck was suffocating. In all honesty, he had asked her out because of her father's not so secret prompting. Besides, his friends were tired of him being single and it was obvious that Elsa was very much interested in him as she had been for last 11 years of their life. So they gave it a shot.

But the relationship was doomed before it even started because of one minor detail: Jack didn't want to be in a relationship. And now that he wasn't, Jack was screaming for joy, jumping to the rooftops, and over the moon and all that high-off-drugs shit. He was finally free. And that's what he wanted.

Yet, why did that feel like such a lie?

* * *

*AN: I doubt that many people got the reference to Frozen 2. I personally am not a fan of creating original characters and generally, changing their personalities is as far as I am willing to go.

Speculation says that Dylan will be Elsa's potential love interest in the next movie, played by none other than Josh Groban. *swoons while imagining the epic duets*


	3. And So It Begins

_**And So It Begins**_

* * *

How the conversation had returned to the topic of Elsa was beyond Jack. He honestly made every attempt at changing the conversation.

" _Merida, did you hear that there's some tomato disease going on? You should start stalking up before the world stops growing them."_

 _"Hiccup, I heard that Books, Books, and Beyond are having a Geek Day sale. You want to go?"_

 _"Bunny, my man, you wanted my iPod, right? You want to have a thoughtful discussion with me as to why I am on the brink of giving it to you?"_

 _"Anna? Insult me? Please?"_

But it was to no avail and all eyes were trained on the adoring couple across the cafeteria.

"I never thought she would move on that quickly!" Tooth stammered, tucking some of her multi-colored hair behind her ear.

"I didn't think she would move on at all!" Bunny exclaimed, throwing his arms up for emphasis.

"But they're still a tentative thing. Right, Anna?" Tooth looked at Anna who nodded in response.

"They're not serious or anything, yet."

Jack gave a bitter laugh. _Yet._

"You're uncharacteristically quiet, Jack," Merida observed from behind her fifth cup of tomato juice since she sat down. "Surely you have something more to say other than an admission to your 'hatred' for PDA."

"Nope. Nothing." Jack said bitterly.

Before Merida could say anything she was interrupted by Rapunzel slamming her tray on the table before taking the seat next to Jack.

"Jackson Overland _Pain-in-the-donkey_ Frost!" Jack cringed at the the shrill cry of the hyperactive blonde. "Why didn't you tell me you broke up with Elsa?" Her peridot eyes expressed the fire her small frame was barely containing. Jack could only gulp hesitantly. He forgot about Rapunzel.

"Maybe because he knew you would go on some psychotic screaming spree like you are now," Merida said bluntly, wiping her mouth after a large swig of tomato juice. Rapunzel shot a withering glare at the redhead, but Merida wasn't the least bit fazed and shrugged.

"Calm down, woman," Jack snapped in false confidence. "I would have told you this morning but I didn't see you." That was true and anyone would attest to it. However, if Bunny were asked, he would say that there was more to it. After all, it is not n everyday thing to spend a good portion of the morning hiding in the janitor's closet and away from the wrath of a woman's tears.

Rapunzel slumped at this as she looked from Jack to Elsa then back to Jack with a wistful gaze.

"But, but, you guys were my perfect couple. The two of you were my _OTP_!" the blonde looked like she was at the brink of tears.

"Cut Jack some slack Punz," Anna said, sporting an uncharacteristically wicked glint in her eye. "He's just a _tsundere_."

Jack was too exhausted to even know if he should be offended or not. "What language is that? I may not know a lot of vocabulary but I am 74% sure that is not English."

"It's Japanese." Hiccup replied in a dull tone, his eyes still glued on his book. "A _tsundere_ is someone who does not easily show affection." He said succinctly.

At this, Bunny burst into laughter, pointing at Jack.

"Anna called you a Japanese word!"

"Shut it, cottontail! Let's just let this topic go. Couples break up all the time."

"But Elsa was infatuated with you for the majority of her life. This is not something we should think lightly of. Where are all the waterworks? Because after all the effort she put into your guys' relationship, she has every right to shed a few tears," Tooth protested.

"Yeah, especially when you broke up with her through text," Merida chided, shaking her head disapprovingly.

Rapunzel covered her mouth in horror as she watched her OTP burn into flames.

"Drop it," Jack growled.

"Let's just give Jack some room. It was his break up too. If Jack doesn't want to discuss Elsa, then we as his friends should respect his wishes," Anna spoke diplomatically. Jack was about to sigh in relief when he caught Anna's meaningful glare. This conversation was far from being over.

The group fell into a comfortable buzz with little conversations sprouting up at a whim when Hiccup's question halted all conversations.

"What do you have against your fork, Jack?" Hiccup pointed his chin in the direction of the disfigured utensil buried into a piece of chicken. Three clean holes right through the bone.

Jack looked down at his fork, surprised himself. _The heck?_

Bunny, who had been watching Jack from the corner of his eye, smirked.

"He just saw something he doesn't like."

Catching his drift, Jack's eyes turned into dangerous slits.

"What do you mean, Bunbun?" Tooth inquired next to her boyfriend.

"Ice Prick was staring at Arendelle and Ice Princess."

"I was not!" Jack snapped.

"You were outright glaring at the poor guy. If looks could kill, Ice Princess would be dead by now." Bunny declared smugly.

"If looks could kill you'd be dead a long time ago," Jack retorted.

* * *

"So tell me again why we are all here?" Hiccup drawled, his eyes zeroed in on the words of _A Guidebook to Mechanism In Advanced Organic Chemistry_.

"This is an intervention for Jack and Elsa's relationship," Rapunzel said with a resolute nod of her head, as if pleased with the name she came up at the moment.

"If so, shouldn't the people of interest be here too?" Hiccup raised an eyebrow, his eyes, however, were still glued to the page.

"No! It defeats the purpose of having one. They'll both just deny the fact that they were made for each other!" Rapunzel whined.

"I'm with blondie on this one," Bunny spoke, his arm draped on Tooth's thin shoulders. "Ice Prick is definitely jealous that Ice Princess and Arendelle are an item."

"I may not look like I pay attention, and often times I do not, but I specifically remember Jack profusely denying any insinuations that he might be jealous."

"Come on, Hiccup," Merida huffed, "You of all people know better than to buy into Jack's load of cra-" Merida glanced at the starry eyed Rapunzel before continuing, "goldfish crackers and sunshine." An ' _ohh I love those'_ from a cheery blonde could be heard in the background. "Jack did not get jealous over girls in the past because they were practically throwing themselves at him. But now that one isn't, well, Elsa has definitely caught his attention."

"But why would he be jealous now?" Anna asked, not convinced herself.

"Because Dylan was only a catalyst," Hiccup replied, understanding dawning on his face.

"Jack is a dufus who needs a wakeup call from time to time," Bunny groaned, rubbing his hand over his face. "Gosh, I really deserve his iPod after this. And probably his social security if he has any credit on him."

Ignoring the latter half of Bunny's comment, Tooth chimed in,

"Jack didn't have a horde of boys following Elsa when the two of them were dating or before that because of Ice Grandfather's goons-"

"-security-" Anna corrected.

"Yes, security goons. Same thing. But now that the male population has seen it tested and true that Elsa Arendelle can be approached without being castrated, they all want a shot that they never thought was possible."

"So what's keeping him away from rekindling their relationship?"

"Come on Anna, everyone in this room has already caught on," Rapunzel sighed exasperatedly. "First of all, his pride won't let him admit it. Two, he never thought he had competition for Elsa's heart. And three, he has yet to realize that he may not have to become a eunuch in order to date Elsa Arendelle."

"Once he _does_ realize these, however, he will be trying to win back Elsa like a bull on a steak!" Bunny grinned as if he just discovered the secret of life.

"Honey, I don't think a bull would eat other bulls... or meat for that matter-"

"You can make me watch Animal Planet later, Tooth," Bunny dismissed her attempt at correcting him. "So, Rapunzel, what's the gameplan?"

"Well, every good mission needs a good mission name," she mused, tapping her chin.

"What about Jelsa? Wasn't that the ship name you gave them?" Anna added helpfully.

"Operation Jelsa? Please, we need to be more iconic. Some revolutionary to fit the purpose of our mission!" The stars beaming from the blonde's eyes were blinding.

Hiccup, who was silent for the majority of the time finally noticed the pregnant pause in conversation. Sighing, he finally set down his book and massaged the bridge of his nose. "If we're done here can I leave? I need to get check out another book before the library closes-"

"Shut up, you're killing my thinking bubble," Rapunzel shushed him as she rubbed her temples methodically.

"This is just an overload of work your adding to your plate. People would think you guys were planning D-Day or something with this amount of intensity-"

"THAT'S IT!"

Hiccup could have sworn that the window behind him cracked and he thanked the day he decided to trade his glasses in for contacts.

Rapunzel, seemingly immune to her own earth shattering voice, continued on to share her life-changing revelation. "We will call it: Operation Overload!"


	4. It's a Learning Process

_**It's a Learning Process**_

* * *

This had gone much better in her head.

Not that Rapunzel would ever admit to any one of them, but she isn't the brightest tool in the shed. She thought that once she gathered her group of friends and got them rallied behind a cause, _her cause_ , that everything would fall into place and that a plan would magically be generated. From one of the others. Because she had done more than enough. With coming up with a _stinkin' name_.

" _Come on_ you guys! We need to start churning out ideas, I can't be the sole mastermind. There's no me in team!" Rapunzel cried exasperatedly from the bed, staring at her friends upside down as her head hung off the side.

This was not going as planned. They were supposed to cheer and marvel in awe at her initiative. Then someone would start playing "We Are the Champions" or some other celebratory music and then Flynn Rider would come swooping in from nowhere and get down on one knee and propose to her and...

"Blondie looks like she's out of commission at the moment. I guess I'll have to step in and come up with a plan then," Bunny cracked his knuckles as he stretched, warming up his biceps as if it would warm up his brain.

"No, sit your ass down," Merida said, annoyed by the fact that with all the brilliant minds in the room, *cough* Hiccup *cough* only Bunny spoke up. "Any plan you come up with will most likely end up getting Jack killed and half of us thrown in prison."

Anna, who took to browsing through reindeer pictures on her phone when the conversation stopped, glanced up. "Why only half?"

"I'd beat up the cop before he could arrest me; you'd be exempt because your related to Ice Godfather; and the other girls look too innocent or ditzy to be convicted for accessory to murder," Merida said as she ticked off the reasons with her fingers.

Bunny stared at the girls for a moment before he turned to his girlfriend. "Was there an insult hidden in there?" Tooth could only hush him and soothingly pat his head on her shoulder.

"Whatever. Bunny, share your plan!" Rapunzel cut off the two redheads and looked expectantly at the man.

A grin consumed his rabbit-like features as he literally hopped up from his spot, his girlfriend's consoling actions long forgotten.

"Yes! So the plan is too complicated for all of you guys combined so I dumbed it down for you," he declared arrogantly.

Finally looking up from his book, Hiccup replied dryly, unamused at his intelligence being insulted. "How thoughtful of you, cretin."

"Well then, let's hear it," Anna encouraged.

"Step one: get Jack to admit to his feelings for Elsa!" Bunny declared with a smirk, "Step two: wait to accomplish step one. Step three: get them together."

Hiccup stared at him blankly. "That's it? _That_ was the best you could have come up with?"

" _So far._ We cannot anticipate more until this is succeeded, young grasshooper." Bunny answered sagely, rubbing his chin.

"It's grasshopper you amoeba." Hiccup snapped.

"We all have at least one class with Jack," Tooth chimed in, trying to diffuse the mounting tension. "We can make sure Elsa and Dylan are never out of his thoughts. At some point, he will be overwhelmed and will have to do _something_. Then we just swoop in and tell Jack to beg Elsa to take him back. Considering how long she has been in love with him, that shouldn't be too much of a problem," Tooth finished with a blinding smile.

"That's brilliant! This is going better than I thought it would! I never doubted you guys!" Rapunzel cried out in glee. "Anna, did you get a copy of Jack's schedule?"

"Yes ma'am. Had Kristoff pick them up before football practice," Anna said as she rummaged her knit backpack for the aforementioned papers.

"How did you get the office to give you that?" Merida asked with a raised eyebrow, "Ice Godfa-"

"No," Anna glared at the assumption she was used to hearing. "In case you didn't know, Felix at the front desk is _terrified_ of big guys. So all Kristoff had to do was ask." Anna said nonchalantly as if she was not just involved in the intimidation of a civil servant.

"Must be nice having an intimidating boyfriend," Tooth teased from her spot next to Bunny. "People take a look at his Easter egg tattoos and his lilac hair and die laughing."

Bunny looked hurt at the comment about his hair and precious tattoos and scooted away from her.

"Alright, I got this all figured out!" Rapunzel announced eagerly, waving the schedule that was more pink than white at this point because of her pen marks. "Jack has Chemistry with Bunny, Tooth, Merida, Hiccup, and Anna; Anna and I have him in math; Hiccup and Merida are in his Latin class; he has history with Bunny and Tooth; there is English with Hiccup; and finally he's in football with the men." There was a murmur of consensus at how everything was turning out until Hiccup spoke up.

"Wait, I'm not in football," Hiccup stated defiantly.

"I said men, not boys," Rapunzel shot him a look, daring him to challenge her sense of accomplishment at the moment. With a roll of his eyes, Hiccup returned to his book.

"Well, this is certainly ideal," Merida commented, glancing at the schedule that was being passed around. "So that means that no one has any reason not to pull their weight around here." Merida said offhandedly, but punctuated the sentence with a glare that everyone responded to with an immediate nod of their heads.

"Great! We'll have Jack _begging_ to get Elsa back in no time!" Rapunzel cheered, clapping her hands.

* * *

Jack sat idly on the stadium benches, beat after an intense round of football conditioning. He glanced at his phone which had been suspiciously quiet all afternoon...

"Jackson, is it?"

Jack looked up at the voice to flinch at the sudden attack of sunlight shining right at him. He glared at the figure of the douche- Dylan- who called him. Jack's annoyance only spiked as he realized that the sun behind Dylan only served to illuminate his silhouette, making the albino eyesore of a boy practically glow. Tch, he must have been the inspiration for Twilight, Jack thought bitterly.

"What's it to ya'?" Jack replied snappily.

The more-snow-than-man frowned. "Your grammar is impeccable, I see." Jack scowled at the comment, doing nothing to fight off the question in his head about whether the jerk would bleed blue blood if he were to _accidentally_ fall thirty feet from the bleachers.

"I have a question for you," Dylan began in a snobbish tone, "What are Elsa's favorite flowers?"

Jack blinked at first, trying to comprehend what was being vomited from that ugly mouth he is just itching to punch.

"What?"

Rolling his eyes and tapping his foot in impatience, Dylan repeated his question slower.

"Flowers. You know, pretty plant things? Which ones do Elsa- even prettier human thing- like?" He put emphasis on the second question, eyes flashing mockingly.

Jack's confusion immediately gave way to irritation. "I don't know. Maybe she's like Tooth and likes roses."

"So you're telling me that you know Tooth's favorite flowers but not Elsa's?"

Narrowing his eyes at the implication being made at him, Jack snapped back, "I only know that because Bunny goes out of his way to get as many multi-colored roses for Tooth every time he apologizes for being stupid, which is daily. Why do you even need to know anyway?"

"Not that it concerns you, but I plan on bringing them with me as I visit her parents tomorrow to formally introduce myself," Dylan declared, puffing his chest in pride. "Every good relationship needs a firm foundation. Not that you would know."

The fire that began burning in his belly since he found out about Dylan flared infinitesimally hotter.

 _Ice Godfather would know if you killed him._

 _Ice Godfather would hurt you if you killed him._

 _Ice Godfather would know if you killed him._

 _Ice Godfather would hurt you if you killed him._

The consequences of an _oh-so-easy_ 'accident' kept repeating in his head as Jack finally replied, but not without venom laced in his voice.

"Like heck I know."

Dylan curled his lip in disgust. "They were right. You really didn't deserve her." That's it.

" _Go away._ " Jack snarled. Sensing the dangerous aura being emitted by the artificially white hair boy, and still having some sense of self-preservation, Dylan shrugged and sauntered away.

Watching the Edward Cullen wannabe leave, Jack clenched and unclenched his fist to get the blood flowing back into his hands, which were tensed moments ago, ready to attack. Taking in deep breaths, Jack let himself cool down until the obnoxious voice shouted up at him from the field.

"You know, once Tooth and Bunnymund split up, you could always go for _Bunnymund._ "

Jack processed the comment slowly. Did he just?

Himself.

With _Cottontail?_

 _Oh, spawn of the Joker, you are **dead**._


	5. Love Hurts

**_Love Hurts_**

* * *

" _Suspended?!_ " Rapunzel's cried at the top of her voice.

 _This just in: NASA has just released to the public that one of its spacecrafts have detected a systemic disturbance that sounded familiar to "a female voice" that could be indicators of extraterrestrial life forms. More to come as the story unfolds._

"My gosh woman," Bunny rubbed his sensitive ears. "How is your voice humanly possible?"

Scowling at the energetic blonde, Anna agreed by patting her ears.

"This is why we need better plans."

"No! Setbacks like this are why we don't plan past step one!" Bunny countered, his feet propped on top of a desk.

"Well how were we supposed to know that Jack would get suspended for trying to strangle Dylan yesterday?" Rapunzel huffed in annoyance. While no one would admit it, everyone was irked at this unexpected development.

"It's like the little bugger knew what we were planning to do," Merida muttered, the tomato juice in her hands failing to placate her mood.

Casting a worried look around the group, Rapunzel summoned strength from her bubbly nature.

"We will still proceed with the plan, though!" she declared with a determined glint in her peridot eyes.

The friend group stared at her incredulously.

"In case you haven't noticed," Hiccup spoke up, lifting his eyes from his _Corporate Social Economics and The Consumer's Role in the Global Market_ textbook, "Jack is not even here, nor is Elsa or Dylan."

The blonde's head snapped around at an inhuman speed, looking around the room desperately. " _What_? Why?"

Seeing Rapunzel's distress, Anna pat her back soothingly. "Apparently, yesterday Dylan brought Elsa roses while trying ask for her father's blessing to date her. Unfortunately, he didn't know that Elsa was allergic to roses, the jerk." Anna frowned at the memory of how the entire family essentially blacklisted the poor boy after the incident, she herself being the leader of the movement after overcoming the initial outrage at seeing her cousin on the floor. "Anyways, Elsa is under strict surveillance at our family's personal hospital and Dylan is being interrogated as we speak."

Snapped from the memory, Anna was surprised to see the blanched looks on her friends' faces. Laughing at how extreme their response, she waved a hand dismissively. "Oh you wimps. These little background checks happen all the time. It's nothing serious, I promise. He'll be out in two weeks, max. Don't worry." Although Anna was a ray of sunshine, her consolation did little to comfort them as the reminder of the Ice Godfather's might weighed upon their heads that should they mess up Elsa's love life, there was a world of brutal ice to pay.

"On the bright side, Dylan and Elsa are definitely not going to be dating any time soon." Anna added helpfully.

* * *

"So... you guys decided to _celebrate_ my suspension by going out to play laser tag?" Jack glared at Bunny who was smiling sheepishly in front of him.

"No you Ice Prick, we are getting your mind off your suspension with a game of laser tag." Bunny corrected.

Still not seeing how this was meant to console him, Jack gave up on trying to understand his best friend, something he learned early on in their friendship.

"Fine, but who the heck let Hiccup pick the nicknames?" Jack snapped.

Everyone was gathered in the main room waiting for other players to emerge. A large flat screen hung from the middle showing the warriors about to enter into a virtual bloodbath:

Pretty Boy Asshole (Jack)

Playboy Asshole (Flynn)

Asshole Asshole (Bunny)

Archimedes Jr. (Hiccup)

"Yeah that's not fair! If we're all assholes then you should be Archimedes Asshole," Flynn complained.

"Ew, no. That's...Archimedes is one of the brightest minds that has ever lived. I aspire to be like him, not be his- gosh, we are not having this discussion."

Ignoring Flynn for the remainder of the time, Hiccup directed the others' attention to his battle plan. Although the bookworm, Hiccup had an eye for strategy and had a secret love for fighting scenarios where he got to test his battle acumen. "Let all ye gather 'round. This is war! ' _This is Sparta!'_ "

* * *

"So you guys managed to convince my father to let me out of the hospital to play laser tag?" Elsa inquired of her (unbeknownst to her) kidnappers.

"Yes, now please cooperate. Uncle would appreciate that you finally spent time out with friends" Anna said as she proceeded to put on extra protective padding on her cousin.

Laser tag was not the ideal scenario, but the group had settled on letting each person call the shots for one week in the hopes of finding a suitable leader. This week, at Merida's insistence, they play laser tag because, and quote:" _All them trashy love romances always include the idiotic male coming in to save the damsel who is probably too incapacitated to save herself. So we shall enact that in the ultimate test of strength!"_ Hence the group's attendance at Jorge's Laser Bonanza.

After stealing Elsa away from her hospital room, Team Beta, consisting of Anna, Rapunzel, and Tooth, proceeded to engulf Elsa in jacket after jacket to protect her from injury and to slow her down in the hopes of increasing the chances of her capture by Team Alpha- Merida, Kristoff, and Astrid. They were gambling on the fact that Jack would discover that Elsa was kidnapped and would battle, with the help of Team Omega- Bunny, Flynn, and Hiccup- to save the damsel. It was a foolproof plan. Team Alpha would throw the fight, and Jack would appear as the that saves Elsa, riding away together into the sunset on his sister's Flower Power bike (unfortunately, his car privileges were suspended along with him).

"I guess this can be fun. But why did you guys choose those particular nicknames?" Elsa glanced at the screen inquisitively.

Annahilator (Anna)

Sexiest Thing Alive (Rapunzel)

Cavities Beware (Tooth)

Damsel in Distress (Elsa)

* * *

"I understand that we are trying to get the two together and all, but is this necessary?" Astrid asked from behind the ski mask Merida had demanded of her.

Looking at her archery companion, and the only female worthy enough to be her opponent in any sport, Merida smirked while glancing up on the TV absentmindedly.

"We're all crazy, but that's why we work so well. We'd do anything for each other." Smiling at the fond look at the redhead's face, Astrid accepted the answer with a nod, following her gaze to the TV before narrowing her eyes at the names on the screen:

Little Red Menace (Merida)

Little Blonde Menace (Astrid)

Miscellaneous (Kristoff)

"What possessed you to choose those names?"

* * *

The game had begun innocently enough. Each team was already strategically positioned with the intent to eliminate all others trying to interfere with their intentions. Thus, when a little boy trotted through their claimed territory, he was sniped within mere seconds by an angry Merida. Watching the boy's vest glow with the gun disabling light, which caused him to run off crying to find his mother, Kristoff turned to Merida, chastising her.

"Couldn't you spare the innocents, Little Red Menace?"

"This is war, Miscellaneous. Sacrifices must be made," she said grimly. Kristoff rolled his eyes at the comment, but glanced occasionally at Team Omega, waiting for the signal from Hiccup to alert them that Jack had found Elsa.

"Why is Pretty Boy Asshole taking so long to find Damsel though," Merida wondered aloud as she took out 4 more bystanders in a matter of 5 seconds, oblivious to the upsurge of people entering their territory, as if trying to escape something. Or someone.

* * *

"Damn, Damsel in Distress, you are surprisingly good at this," Tooth observed nervously as Elsa wiped out nearly everyone on the floor the moment they were released onto the battle grounds.

"My father had me take self defense classes," Elsa replied with a sweet smile at Tooth, shooting a man without ever glancing at him. "The people at the range told me I'm a 'sure shot,' whatever that means."

Her friends could only stare at her while Anna continuously berated herself for forgetting that minor detail: Elsa was trained to defend herself and is capable of killing a person seven different ways without shedding a drop of blood. Having the boys 'kidnap' her would be a little harder than they planned...

"But you guys are right, this is a real stress reliever" Elsa chimed, taking out a group of women who looked like they just came from clubbing.

At this rate, Elsa would shoot Jack before he got to find her. Thinking on her feet, Rapunzel swiped Elsa's gun from her and ran like a madwoman.

"Come and catch meee!" Rapunzel cried defiantly as she ran for her life towards Team Omega. Sprinting after the screaming girl, Elsa ran with the resolve to retrieve her weapon.

"If Damsel in Distress catches Sexiest Thing Alive..." Tooth didn't get to finish that statement before Anna dragged the pixie-like girl after the pair.

Hearing the eardrum splitting screams of Rapunzel, Flynn stood from his napping stance on the ground to see the approaching blondes, one running past him to throw Jack in the path of the other.

"Sexiest Thing Alive, give me back my -omph!" Elsa squealed when she crashed into a warm chest, a pair of strong arms wrapping around her to keep her from falling. Still on her warpath, Elsa was about to acquaint the stranger's gut with her elbow to continue her chase when suddenly a familiar warm voice reverberated from the chest she was currently glued to.

"Elsa?"


End file.
